TIPS FOR BEING MORE ASSERTIVE

1.  Learn to make decisions based on your needs and feelings.
2.  Learn to say "NO" and don't feel guilty about it.
When you say no, you are rejecting the request, not the person.
3.  Don't apologize if you have done nothing wrong.  Do not neglect
your own needs in order to make other people happy.
4.  Where possible, plan your responses in anticipation
of difficult situations that you might find yourself in.
5.  Make your feelings and needs known to others.  Don't expect them to read
your mind.  Express yourself honestly and clearly, maintaining good eye contact.
6.  Avoid starting sentences with the word "you" because this
is often interpreted as being aggressive instead of assertive.  Begin your sentences
with the word "I", such as "I get angry when you arrive late because it wastes my time."
Such sentences have three parts as follows:
i)  describe how your feel
ii)  describe what the other person is doing
iii)  describe what happens because of their behaviour
7.  Minimize your contact with people who don't bring out the best in you.
8.  Avoid exaggerations, either in your mind or in what you say.
Attempt to keep your thoughts and words based on fact.
9.  Look for solutions to problems where other people (or even yourself)
don't have to be losers.  Attempt to find "winning together" solutions.
10.  Remember that the underlying theme in being more assertive
is to demonstrate respect for yourself and others.